Untitled mayhem!
by stars2night
Summary: this randomness between Krad and Dark threatens both your sanity and your soul! Read if you dare! Pudding!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: What craziness is this?

Disclaimer: I do not own any DNAngel

k, this is a…um…conversation between Krad and Dark before Satoshi and Daisuke had them… (in other words its me and my friend being crazy…I only did Krad's parts, don't blame this all on me! 'feels blamed' Nooooo! I'm melting! Stupid chocolate pocky…)

Dark: I enjoy pancakes…pancakes eaten off my muscles because I am so great and muscley woo!

Krad: Do they have maple syrup on em?

Dark: Yes! You want some my chibi lover?

Krad: How did you find out about my addiction? (is shocked)

Dark: (smirks and rubs chin) I just know these things

Krad: I should leave you, you scare me so…

Dark: (in Krad's face) You know you like it!

Krad: no…actually…I like pudding…

Dark: What? (glares at pudding) You slut!

Krad: Don't be dissing my pudding like that!

Dark: How can you prefer that blob of ickiness over….(sparkles)..me!

Krad: You blind me so I hate you…

Dark: (throws away sparkles) …better?

Krad: (complains some more) now I can't see you…

Dark: What is your problem..?

Krad: your not giving me any pancakes…

Dark: The "pancakes" will be given once you dump your pudding…….

Krad: My pudding will destroy your soul!…(thinks a moment) then I will eat all your pancakes and go ride unicorns…

Dark: I EAT unicorns……

Krad: O.o OMG! Your are evil!

Dark: Mwahahahaha! You know it…

Krad: (mutters something about cannibalism) You are so hurtful!

Dark: (snickers) I want a snickers bar…..

Krad: I have one…but you can't have any…cause you're a meanie…poor unicorns…

Dark: (is gnawing on unicorn head) did you say something?

Krad: ummmm…nooo (has bitten into snickers bar and seems distracted) its oooooh so good!

Dark: You know what I was just thinking about?

Krad: My pudding! You know you want to eat it, now don't you? (holds pudding in front of Dark's face then hugs it)

Dark: No!…(starts to spaz out) I'm freakin out man…..Bearded Kittens! Bearded kittens everywhere! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Krad: (seems to be oblivious to Dark's screams) why is your eye twitching?

Dark: (twitches) Don't go swimming in the pool Joseph…not without your noodle! HOW! WHY! Leave the Noooooodles…..noodles..(eyes get big and turn black almost as if being possessed) I am Lucifer….the dark prince…….(eyes glow red)

Krad: OK then! Then I'm little bow peep and I get to have a sheep! Yay! (claps hands)

Dark: Bow to me and give me the soles in your shoes…(spazes) I need SOOOUP!

Krad: (looks up from making sheep soup) I'm not wearing any shoes though you are…

Dark: (snaps back) Huh? Where am I? And why are all these dark clouds over me? (looks confused as a black cloud floats over Dark)

Krad: Hey! Why don't we go to White Castle's? You know like Harold and Kumar?

Dark: …….WHY?

Krad: Cause I want to paint you gold…

Dark: What does that have to do with anything! (spazes out again) Lucifer demands white castles…moo

Krad: I like cows! Can I eat you?

Dark: (in satanic tone) No….But…I WILL devour your flesh…Hm….

Krad: take my pudding instead! Or wait, I want my pudding still! (seems to be having problems making up his mind) ummm…I hear you eat babies, right?

Dark: maybe…(grins)

Krad: well…there are some goats over there so go have a ball!

Dark: (spaz) I collect belly button fuzz….(smiles really big)

Krad: well, that's nice…I guess…I collect purses!

Dark: (snaps back) You do! (squeals) me too!

Krad: Yay! Do you have the purple one with the beads on the front shaped like a flower? Trade you the green one that has the shape of a snail on it! Deal? (seems enthused)

Dark: Oh yes! (trades and holds it close while stroking it) I love you my snail! I am going to name you…err…Bob!

Krad: Why is the sky blue?

Dark: (grows a unibrow) what do you think? (wiggles it)

Krad: (is still staring at sky) I think the sky should shave and turn green!

Dark: (belches really loud) aren't I attractive…? (pets his unibrow)

Krad: well…if you're a caveman…wait! The cavemen look better, lets just say your looks rival those of an unicelled organism…

Dark: oh yeah! Well--! (thinks of comeback) you're ugly!

Krad: (sing song voice) you're a uni! You're a boonie!

Dark: (runs at lightning speed to Wal-Mart and back) Damnit! I couldn't find any-

Krad: Chocolate pocky?

Dark: yes and I will punish them! (cracks pinky)

Krad: You broke your pinky…and…(says in weird voice) I collect pokemon…

Dark: You know what really puzzles me?

Krad: What?

Dark: Edible underwear…..

Krad: are they still edible if used?

Dark: I think we need to have the "talk"…(shudders) later though….(thinks) what if you saw someone with some edible underwear on and their pants were sagging…what would happen if you just went up and tore a piece off and shoved it in your mouth and tapped the person on the shoulder and said "look at what I got" and you stick out your tongue… What would happen?

Krad: (is clearly ignoring Dark) I choose you Pikachu!

Dark: (does square dance)…drop it like its hot!

Krad: We shall rule the world pikachu! Just you…and me…forget about Dark…

Dark: Fine! We shall rule the universe! Just you…and me, bob!

End of chapter 1 or first meeting, I have no clue where this is going, its probably going to stay as only one chapter though…I'm scared of myself and friend…(goes and has a party with her friend and… bob) 


	2. Chapter 2: Pudding!

Chapter 2: Pudding! 

Disclaimer: Checks watch Only 233 days to go…and 200 million years…

k, based upon your pleas I have decided to continue this series (finally!) and my friend and I have finally had the time to actually sit down and write a fanfic. It is a miracle! (angels singing from heaven only to shut up when Krad glares at them) Enjoy the randomness!

>>>>? > > > >? > > > >? > > > >? > > > >? > > > >? > > > >? > > > >? > > > >? > > > >? > > > >

'at Dark's apartment'

Dark: wow, why does it smell like chlorine down here? Is Krad trying to make another one of his 'home-made' nuclear weapons again? Why does he always leave them at my doorstep….I bet he then runs away screamin like a girl….that girlie man's man…

Krad: (appears from out of nowhere) Are you talking about me? Why areyou talking about me? I hate when you talk about me behind my back! How could you?

Dark: you told Sherri that I was fat! So I am just returning the favor! (pulls out slim fast and chugs it down)

Krad: (looks with disgust from both the slim fast back to Dark) ewwww, how can you stand to drink those things? Anyway, I didn't call you fat! Just…waaaayyy overweight…

Dark: (bitch slaps Krad) You slut! Argh! (does girly pout)

Krad: (violent wind comes through the apartment and knocks Dark over)

Dark: (ish stunned) why! Krad…..I gave you my favorite vegetable…..the tomato!… Now we fight! (pulls out banana from pocket and prepares to launch death missal)

Krad: (looks sadly at the ground) I don't feel like fighting…I lost my…

Dark: Mojo! Ah! No my poor comrade! Was it Dr. Evil?

Krad: (sighs) No, that was Dr. Good, now anyway…I lost my pudding! It has been lost for days! Just think…it could be out there…all alone with that big starving world ready to devour it!

Dark: Why don't we go to Kroger's and get you new pudding and you can name it Sarah!

Krad: No! That pudding was special! It was strawberry… and named Lucy!

Dark: Luci……fer! (goes in demon mode) We must retrieve the delicious snack!

Krad: (checks review page for this story) I think I have a suspect!

Dark: What! How oh how did u obtain my special chapstick! Now my lips are gonna get dry and crack (cries)

Krad: (Ignores the crying, continues to apply the chapstick to his beautiful lips) I must find this "Crystal-Neko" and retrieve my glorious pudding!

Dark: (sticks finger in ear and twirls) ooohh……look at that (continues until he had a small ear wax statue) Yay! (puckers for no reason)

Krad: (stares at the cracked withered lips) ewww…

Dark: Ah! What was that look for! The nerve of you! (pulls out cricket bat and whacks him in the shin) Ha!

Krad: (is offended) well, pooh to you!

Dark: (grabs a fall out boy poster and hits Krad in the head with it)

Krad: (stalks away) Well, I am going to go find that evil, yet not as evil as me, Crystal-Neko! Time to go find out where he could be from my evil comrade Shiru23454!

Dark: Yesh….and I shall locate the one called "Marik's Victim" and "question" her! I'll ask her things like-"Hey!" Would you like some of my toe jam!" or stuff like-"Hey! Do you think Krad is susceptible to paper cuts!" …..yeah and then I'll know everything about…..anything…

Krad: (shakes head at how stupid Dark has come to be)

Dark: I take offense to that head shake! Argh! (pulls out a cd player and plays Christmas songs from the mall) Now! Bow down…and have a merry Christmas!

Krad: ummm…(checks calendar) I am pretty sure that Christmas is over…But no! It can't be!

Dark: (turns volume up) Jingle bell jungle bell rock!...welcome to the jungle...wait thats guns n roses and thats not christmas-eee

Krad: (is still staring in horror at the calendar) Daylight Saving's Time! NOOOOOO! Whoever came up with it must die!…but after I find my pudding…

Dark: (accidentally drops cd player and breaks it) aww……hey (smells air)

Krad: It smells like rotting fruit roll up…

Dark: Oh! No my edible underwear must be melting! Ah! No!

Krad: (blocks image from his mind) …anyway…NOOOO! I need that hour of sleep! Without it I might just…die! And then with less sleep my hair will be less shiny and then I really will die!

Dark: (grows beard) do I look ommish to you?

Krad: (once again shakes head) k, see ya later Dark, I have an important mission to attend to! Wait for me, my beautiful crème de la pudding!

Dark: (plays jump rope with self)

Krad: (swishes Dark's cape, laughs at Dark, and runs away into the night calling after him) By the way, I installed a pool in your bathroom!…

Dark: Cool! Wait I mean nooooo! Where will I curl my hair at!

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K, while writing this chapter I decided to let the fans join in on some of the fun, if you want me to continue or want your name added or taken out of the story then please review! Till next chapter!

Ps. Review if you dare! Your name might just be added! (unless otherwise notified) Mwahahahaha!


	3. Chapter 3: Tipping

Chapter 3: Tipping

Disclaimer: Nothing new yet…stupid chain email lied to me! (pouts in corner)

Who ever said that torturing Krad/Dark wasn't fun?

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'After walking several feet Krad gets tired of walking and decides to use his wonderful skills to hotwire a car. After casually walking up to a black viper and trying the door handle a laser gun of doom pops out of the hood and zaps him to death…well almost-death…'

Dark: (skips over to Krad) Don't touch my viper! BEE-otch!

Krad: (twitches) If that's your viper go over there and unlock it, Mr. Turd-fergonson!

Dark: shut up and that's not my name it's my uncles'! And I don't want to unlock it I like to be safe….

Krad: (slowly sits up) anyway, unlock it, Mr. Tuff-guy

Dark: Yes I am and no I won't, your breath smells and I don't swing that way

Krad: …I didn't ask you about my breathe or unlocking your secret yet not really secret past…So… what did you do before I knew you?

Dark: Okay so I was once a male escort so what! I still got it (rips clothes off revealing a speedo and he starts shaking his junk at Krad)

Krad: (tries to cover eyes but it is too late) Ahhhhhh! My eyes! I'm going blind!

Dark: (Shakes bottom in air) so you want the speedo on or off? Hey! You tip right? (taps Krad on shoulder) DO YOU TIP! HEY!

Krad: (shudders) I think you should pay me for eye surgery instead!

Dark: (turns into Lucifer mode) TIP ME NOW OR YOU WI LL PAY…

Krad: (mutters something about already paying) If I don't tip the hobo Santa Claus in the mall for letting me sit on his lap and having him give me everything I want then I certainly AINT GOING TO TIP YOU!

Dark: (snaps back) wait why were you sitting on my lap that day?

Krad: O.o OMG! That was you? Well, thanks for the pretty pony doll set at least…

Dark: (takes out salami from pants and slaps himself in the face until he passes out)

Krad: (looks scandalized at Dark's pants) You pulled that out of your edible underwear, didn't you? How long has that been in there?

Dark: (unconscious drools and his leg twitches in response to Krad)

Krad: (quirks up a well-plucked eyebrow and has a mischievous gleam in his eyes) Wellllll….since you hand me this perfect opportunity, why not! (searches Dark's pants for his magic floating bookshelf, finds it, loads Dark's salami strewn body onto it and away they went)

'an hour later and after 52 bathroom breaks and 12 food stops and after running 32 trucks off the road they finally make it to…Halloween Express!'

Dark: (slowly wakes up) Huh? Where am I? and why am I wearing this slutty maid's outfit?

Krad: (views Dark up and down) not bad…not bad…I can defiantly sell you to…someone desperate at least…

Dark: Oh I feel pretty! I mean-Uh what the hell (rips off the dress revealing briefs with power rangers on the butt)

Krad: yea…I thought you needed a change of undies…so I tried to get you your favorite, Dora the Explorer…but they were out and I had to settle for second best…

Dark: swiper no swiping! Yay!

Crystal: (magically appears out of nowhere) Uh, hello? Aren't you going to chase me for your pudding!

Dark: (sees another costume he wants to try on and races off)

Krad: Uh…how did you get here? You didn't steal my…err…Dark's magic floating bookshelf, now did you?

Crystal: (waves hands in the air mystically) Nope, I'm just special…

Krad: (rolls eyes) You are special alright…

Crystal: (whacks Krad upside the head and forces him into a Naughty Nurse outfit) Hey! You do look pretty! Are you sure you aren't a girl?

Krad: (paralyzed in shock at someone questioning his manly manliness)

Dark: I'd tap dat ass (stares at Krad)

Krad: (casually walks over to Dark in 3 inch high heels and then tackles him…in the end finally wrestling him into a banana costume) Sing the banana phone song for me!

Dark: ring ring ring ring ring-hey wait! NOOOOOOOOOO! Now it is stuck in my head! Curse upon you!

Random man: (walks in and catches sight of Krad) Hey…(slicks back his hair with a hand)…tall, blond, and gorgeous…wanna go catch a movie tonight with me? Baby, I can tell that you need someone to treat you right, so just come with me and no losers will ever bother you again, I promise you!

Krad: (Walks over to the glue and bricks aisle of the store, happens to glue a brick to his foot and then whacks it across the guys face, the guy collapses…) Yep, that loser won't be bothering me again…only a loser would take me for a girl, anyone here can see the manliness oozing out of my pores, can you not? Can you not, guys? Guys?

Dark: its peanut butter jelly time!

Krad: Yea, let's do it, let's do it! (they both start doing the dance for peanut butter jelly time…one a nurse, one a banana…dancing together in perfect harmony)

Crystal: (shrugs and throws pudding away) What the heck! (Joins the dancing only to have Krad quietly sneak away and grab his pudding…and jumping onto his magic wardrobe…err…bookcase and off he zoomed) Wha? What happened to Krad? And the pudding! Curses! I shall get you one day, Krad! One day! Meanwhile…Hey, Dark…what do you value most in your life?

Dark: umm…me…

Crystal: That will have to do! You shall be the bait! And from what I hear Krad sure does love bananas! You are perfect! (grabs Dark and starts dragging him away)

Dark: (girly scream) Please don't eat me! I shall be good! Very very- (pulls out spare magic floating spaghetti, jumps into it, and sputters away…meatballs trailing behind)

Crystal: Nooooo! I shall catch you one of these days, my pretties! Just you wait (starts cackling like the wicked witch of the west) ok…I am going to go watch some T.V. now…and plot!

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Crystal, my apologies if we used your name in vain though it was funny to use you to add more randomness to it! Sorry if this chapter wasn't as random as the others but it was still hilarious making! More reviews we get the more we are encouraged to write!


	4. Chapter 4: OMG, Slang!

Chapter 4: OMG, slang…

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing except my head and even that's blown up by now.

More randomness…weee…

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Dark: (moans in pain) ohh aaahhhhhh

Krad: (bounces happily, whistling the Sailor Moon opening theme song)

Dark: My stomach! ahh it pains me even more to hear you whistle that tune!

Krad: (starts twirling in his roily chair) you shouldn't have eaten three scoops of super duper awesome-licious-ness udf (ooooodf) ice cream!

Dark: it was so good! It was like sex! I couldn't stop until I was done!

Krad: (covers ears and writhes on ground) OMG!!! TMI!!!

Dark: What?! I don't understand you?!

Krad: y aren't u undrstnding meh?

Dark: AH! The improper spelling and grammar! It buuuurrrnnnsss! (squirts lemon juice into his eyes and eyes to divert the pain from listening to krad)

Krad: I pwn u noob! w/ ma pwning pwrs!

Dark: what the hell? (takes out legos and builds a massive fort around himself) Ha! Your bad spelling can't get me now!

Krad: (gets out remote control and starts shooting laser beams at fort)

Dark: (transforms into a go bot) Ha! There is more than meets the eye! Ha! (starts pouring gypsy tears onto Krad)

Krad: wha the hll? I aint no Joo!

Dark: with a nose like that….i dunno

Krad: (puts on sand village headband) I call u out, foo!

Dark: sand nin? I never knew?! HIGH FIVE! (krad and dark high five) hey do you think the authors of this story will ever decide to actually make a plot?

Krad: Hey, its work to fool around all day! I get tired just being near you…and they pay us in the best way!

Dark: well at least its not like one of those other fan fics where we get naked and have sex…(pauses) but you know….my door is always open….

Krad: (stares belligerently at Dark) Are you really that desperate for sex? I guess you are kinda ugly…

Dark: WHAT?! (takes out finger and licks it then wipes the finger across his eyebrows) baby you ain't got nothing on this….

Krad: and I don't want anything on that…it's a failure in the first place…

Dark: this is why im hot…this is why im hot…im fly cuz im hot you ain't cuz you not….its all in the song krad

Krad: (starts laughing at Dark) and I always wondered why you listened to those songs…guess you need something to compliment u at least…

Dark: my lip gloss is poppin (keeps singing that over and over while applying greasy lip gloss)

Krad: (gets out random ice cream gun and fires it at Darks $800 pants)

Dark: NNOOO! I got these off of ebay from a guy in Sweden! (cries tears of poop) argh what am I gonna do now?

Krad: (gets out 50 pounds of licorice and looks at Dark speculatively)

Dark: you know I'm sick of all this bickering and fighting…lets have a truce…here (pulls out some cheese) eat the cheese of peace

Krad: (eats some of the cheese of peace)

Dark: I hope you like it, I made it myself…

Krad: really?

Dark: from my breast milk

Krad: (starts to stagger around as if poisoned) OMG!!! I feel so ill…I think I am going to throw up…on your $50,000 shoes…

Dark: NO! not my jordans!

Krad: o.O you paid that much for that junk?!?! Yeah, I defiantly dumping you now, you are no longer the wife in this relationship!

Dark: honey! Honey no…don't do this….no (wipes tears from face and onto his apron)

Krad: You keep spending all our money (that we stole) on frivolous stuff, that's just like a woman…err…man…err…anyway! Like the time someone tried to sell you a rock pet for 50 million dollars, and you bought it too! I had to work a half an hour to get out of debt thanks to you!

Dark: don't you dare speak that way in front of rocky (pets the rock)

Krad: I can talk however the hell I want to talk in front of that hunk of inanimate stone. Heck, you care more for that stone than you do me!

Dark: well he is softer than you….

Krad: softer?!?! How about this? (gets a huge roller machine and starts trying to roll stone into powder)

Dark: NOOO! (sneezes) crap allergies

Krad: (stops the roller and glances around furtively, hoping that no one had discovered the kitten hidden/tangled in his hair)

Dark: whoops… umm yea the rock pet wasn't the only one I got….meet our daughter Samantha

Krad: (freaks out) OMG! LIKE OMG!!! Why the hell did you get an Ogre Giant for a daughter?!?! Did you get her from the circus like your midget maid that I keep tripping on? (Ogre Giant thing growls menacingly) Oh, I didn't mean it Saman…Samanat… Samanananananatha! Please don't grind my bones to make your bread! I don't like bread…if I have to die, make me into pudding instead!

Dark: like yea totally like thought you woulda known that like omg

Krad: I am hungry, make me something to eat…on your hands and knees! Kneel before the all powerful king of the castle!

Dark: aww hell naahh

Krad: (sits on his power stool to make himself feel important)

Dark: (kicks the power stool and is shocked and blown away) guess team rocket's blasting off again!!! (disappears)

Krad: Hmmm…I think I am going to check my myspace now…this really hot chick named Kalixia has been talking to me…I think I might want to meet up with her…maybe… forget the warnings of never meeting a person in real life from online! I can handle it!

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Crystal, changing your name to Kalaxia was brilliant! P Everyone enjoy! Comments and suggestions are welcome and even (very) recommended if you want me and my friend to continue in our antics! READ AND REVIEW! Or suffer the consequences of turning into a purple bunny…


	5. Chapter 5: Welcome to Walmart!

Chapter 5: Welcome to Wal-mart!

Disclaimer: Krad…you are now mine…don't try to run…resistance is futile! (ok, actually none of its mine but I can pretend, cant I?)

Since we are feeling evilly nice we are once again going to inflict our randomness on you! Beware! And enjoy!

Dark: oh man I soiled myself again (grabs self)

Krad: Are you pregnant all over again?

Dark: yurp

Krad: (cringes) did you-…uh…have a ….uh…sex change?

Dark: no I still have joseph!

Krad: Do I even want to know who (or what) Joseph is???

Dark: joseph is my penis, and my new baboon vagina that I had implanted, well her name is Tahnee…

Krad: (starts to build a sand castle out of used gum he had found) so you a tranny now? Are we going to have to buy you make up and some dresses? (gets even more bored and pops some of the gum into his mouth and chews thoughtfully)

Dark: kinda

Krad: You know what? I'm going to the moon. (starts building a rocket ship out of macaroni noodles and kindergarten glue)

Dark: I wants to gooooooooo

Krad: then get me 1000 marbles…

Dark: aw come on krad you know I lost those a long time ago

Krad: (looks disgusted) well, go win them back! We can't have a slacker, now can we? And we need those marbles to bribe space aliens…

Dark: (starts taking off clothes)

Krad: Ahhhh! (covers eyes) go win them some other way! Though…(starts eying Dark thoughtfully) I could trade you as a slave if worse comes to worse…nah, that would only work once…so go get those freakin marbles from that hobo over there (goes back to gluing a smiley face in place of a steering wheel)

Dark: aw…(makes himself decent) hmmm…

Krad: (gets tired of Dark just standing there and uses his newly built macaroni robot to kick him to the nearest Wal-mart)

Dark: no! I dun wanna be here! The last time I was here there was a creepy guy buying shoes, that kept scratching his palms and would not stop staring at me…

Girl: (walks up to Dark and smiles creepily at him) Excuse me, my grandfather asked me to ask you if you would let him dance on your grave after your die in the next 30 seconds.

Dark: ah! What the hell man? Where is krad anyway?

Krad: (has gotten tired of building his rocket ship and is at home watching Soaps) omg! You can't die without kissing him! OMG!!! You died! Slap the bitc-

Dark: (clicks shoes together) there is no place like krads apartment, there is no place like krads apartment (poofs himself in front of krad)

Krad: Hey! Did you get the marbles? (swallows a liter of mountain dew in one gulp and burps loudly)

Dark: (slaps krad) that's for making me go to walmart! (slaps krad again) and that's for drinking all the mountain dew!

Krad: (touches face gingerly) OW! What's so bad about Walmart? I buy all your clothes there, you know!

Dark: what?! I didn't know that….well there are some horrible people there ya know!

Krad: (confused) Whatcha mean? Everytime I go there they offer me money to kill people, its like the best place eva! Killing…and money…the two things best in the world…and they actually called me this afternoon asking me to kill this one cute purple haired dude…

Dark: hmm cute purple haired dude? That's me! Wait sure it wasn't purple haired man exploding with sex appeal?

Krad: (cleaning his nails) Actually, I cleaned the terms up for you, they actually said that you were disgustingly cute enough to rip out your &$ $&$ and &&$ and dance on your grave…

Dark: that damned girl….(plots to rip out her insides… and to knit a sweater)

Krad: (gets a call on his cell phone and talks secretively into it) I have to go Dark, out to make more money…Oh, and I will pick up marbles while I am out… oh! And aluminum foil so that the space coppers cant use their speed radars on us!

Dark: noperrss

Krad: ummm…yeppers? And since you're not doing anything why don't you come with? (goes off to get the doggie collar and leash)

Dark: oro?

Krad: Stop speaking Kenshin terms and come over here, I have a Doggie…err…Darky treat for you!

Dark: okay…..can we stop on the way for freakin apple pies!!! Like 3 dozen of them! Pleasey please?

Krad: No.

Dark: why not? Dark love pie!

Krad: Fine, if you will be a nice Darky and pay for all of them and give your master…err…buddy a 2 pie tax…

Dark: no!

Krad: Fine then! (grabs Dark and starts clicking Dark's shoes together) there is no place like killing people, there is no place like killing people!!!

Dark: silly krad! Dark shoes only work on dark….ya craszy….

Krad: Fine! Get in the rocket ship then! We are going shopping…for blood! (throws Dark into ship and powers it up)

Dark: woot!!!!

Krad: (powers up into high gear, takes off emergency brake, and they zoom off…soon to find out that Krad had forgotten to glue a stop button on or even a slow down lever)

Dark: what the hell man!

Krad: Well, I was going to use a marble for those, but since WE DON'T HAVE MARBLES, give me your nipple…

Dark: (lifts up shirt revealing that dark has no nipples) sorry I used them already

Krad: (stares incredulously at Dark) TO DO WHAT???

Dark: well…there was the time…hey! That's not important! We need to stop this ship! What about your nipples?

Krad: (covers chest protectively) Not an option! How about your nose? Wait! I need that to sniff down old men who smell bad so I can put them out of my misery…yea…any ideas?

Dark: nope (pulls out gun about to shoot self)

Krad: (looks at gun) you know…though I would love to see you do this… I need to someone to eat my vegetables too much to let you do that (starts wrestling Dark for the gun)

Dark: nooo! (gains the upper hand)

Krad: (accidentally…or not so accidentally…pulls trigger killing an innocent rapist) see! You cost someone their life! Now give me the gun and be happy about it!

Dark: innocent my ass!

Krad: What? You doubt me? Tsk tsk tsk, when we get home you are going to be put in the dog house! And then- (they suddenly go tumbling through the air as the rocket crashes into the statue of liberty…and the statue starts to fall…)

Dark: OMFG! You totally destroyed the symbol of liberty! May lightning strike you!

Krad: Hey, they can always erect a statue of Krad instead, they would like it so much better!

Dark: if you keep lookin as sexy as you do, that's not the only thing that's going to erect…

Krad: NOOOO! Other men lusting after my luscious bod! EWWWWW! Though I could make them slaves to my will…and then-

Dark: and then I get to PIMP THEM OUT! For I am the pimp-diddliest of all that is to slap a hoe! Ya dat be dis mofo!

Krad: Ummm…you know…I just realized we are still falling…this could pose a problem…(staring at the rapidly approaching ground)

Dark: (starts clicking heels together rapidly) there is no place like home, there is no place like home (Krad grabs Dark right before Dark disappears in a poof of smoke)

Krad: (looks around perplexed) Ummmm…Dark, why is your home a police station???

Dark: I come here a lot. It's the closest thing I will have to a home!

Officer #34: excuse me but you look an awful lot like the ones who totaled the statue of liberty….that's a crime against America!

Dark: uhh….it wasn't me, but um what would you guesstamate the cost for this lil mess?

Officer #2: umm about 2.7 trillion.

Dark: Aw! Carp! Krad! We need to get you a job! Hmm…why not walmart?

Krad: What??? Why me? I will NEVER get a job! You can't make me!

'one hour later at walmart'

Krad: Thank you for visiting walmart. (false smile)

Lady: Ummmm, sir, can you help me find something?

Krad: How about the light at the end of the tunnel? Or the way to eternal damnation? Or-

Lady: NVM!!! (hurries off)

A Mother: Hey! Stupid employee of this stupid store, I need you to do something for me, right now! Go-

Krad: Are you going to eat that baby? You can have the leftovers if you really want too…but…

A Mother: OMG! A Cannibal! POLICE, POLICE!!! (runs away to find the nearest police station)

Random Chick: Dude…

Krad: Thank you for shopping at walmart, can I devour your soul? Put you out of your misery? Have lightning smite you? Please place your order now…only $20.00 but wait! There is more! You could win a free ipod with your next purchase-

Dark: (shows up in a manager uniform) Krad! What are you doing?! You're scaring the customers!

Corporate Manager: Ummmm…my name is Kalaxia, what the hell is going on here? We are loosing customers and…wait… do I know the two of you from somewhere?...

Krad: OMFG…not that woman! Not after she sent me that wonderful hate letter on myspace! I am going to hop into my rocket now and take off- DAMMIT! There is no way out…

-End- or is it?

How did Dark become a manager at Wal-Mart? Wasn't he scared before? What will he do to Krad? Will he do anything? And where did Kalaxia come from??? This could spell disaster for Krad in so many ways…and… will the woman ever finish the leftover baby?

Read and review to find out!

Dark: or your fired!!

Me: Dark! The readers don't work at wal-mart so you can't fire them

Krad: But you can fire me!

Dark: that works….

Me: Tune in! and don't forget to read and review! Otherwise me and my friend won't write anymore!


End file.
